The Daily Mac Volume 1

Here's the first batch of quotes straight from the Macattack.

8.6.07 - "Well, what you have to understand is that I have a mortal deathly fear of bees..."

8.8.07 - "Well, apparently, in Eastern Theatre they used bat guano as white makeup for face paint.....That's right....it was bat s**t!"

8.9.07 - "Mr. Hoilman, I believe that burping is an art form as well as drama. I believe that I have perfected the art of burping so that is now an art form. In fact, I challenge everyone in this

classroom to a burping contest after class!"

8.14.07 - "One of the things that good students and bad students have in common is that they both have reproductive organs!!"

8.15.07 - "So, if a cigarette is called a fag in England is a cigar called a perv?" "Can we watch Star Trek? I'll shut up if we watch Star Trek."

8.16.07 - [walking toward homework box] "Homework, you go here. Now stay!..." "A perfectly good way to find out something about someone is to read their mind!" [talking about Bugs Bunny] "You better not mess with Bugs Bunny because rabbits kick your butt!"

8.21.07 - [swatting paper in the air with pencil]

8.22.07 - [commenting on SpongeBob in Honors English] "No, Squidward is the one who throws SpongeBob through the window!" "As much as you may or may not like it, Dionysus was the Greek god of sex!" "I mean, c'mon, who likes taxes?"

8.16.07 - "I would like to be eaten by a wolf because I might be able to pet it!"

8.18.07 - [teacher pretends to mute Mac, Mac sits down and writes "Unmute me" on a piece of paper, teacher says "Not yet", Mac then writes "Pretty please with a cherry on top" and follows teacher around until teacher unmutes him]

8.20.07 - "If there are first and third world countries then what happened to the second world countries?"

8.21.07 - "I would never pee on the road! I mean, that just fits my attitude toward our earth. If you were the road how would you like to be peed on?"

8.23.07 - "Assume makes an a** out of you and me just like quiche makes shey out of quis." "How do you know the big oceans in Africa won't kill me?" "Everybody, sit down, and shut up!"

8.24.07 - "Everybody, let's party!" [runs into middle of room and starts dancing] "How about yo mama?" "Let's watch Dora the Explorer!" "Swiper, no swiping!" "You know, now that I think about it, I'm not so sure I did take my meds!..."

8.27.07 - "If Bill Gates made all his money into gold, and got in a time machine and went back to 1950, he'd be so rich, he could buy all the land in the world!"

8.29.07 - "If I tried to sing, everyone in here would be either unconscious or dead. Most likely dead."

8.30.07 - "Did you just call me a liberal? You have deeply insulted me. I should slap you." "I could kill Goliath with something smaller than a stone. I would shoot him with a pistol."

8.31.07 - [points finger like gun and shoots J.T. Hornsby in the head] "Yo!" "Give it back, give it back!" [ in old lady voice]